Wednesday, 28 March 2018

I'm a silent partner by the way.....

..........said the weirdo.

Beefy! I hear some of you cry, that is so judgmental!

Well, only literally. I did judge that he was mental, after all....

If you had been in the Rutland about 16.00 on the 08 March you may also have heard this or similar words uttered by this very odd man. Here's how my "chat" happened.

There I was, enjoying my second half of he frankly excellent Partizan Dank IPA at 6.7%, and a man with dark hair  and a studious look said "is it OK if I join you?" Noting that he didn't have a knife, gun, or worse, a bible, I decided to accept this seemingly harmless offer. We sat at the table for what seemed an age before he spoke.

"Is there anything that you need doing for you in your life at the moment then?" he asked. I said "No, am fine, thanks" and he shifted in his seat, failing to hold the gaze I was unwilling to give him. "Ah, OK so you are completely self sufficient in your life at the moment then?" he replied.

I wasn't quite sure what to say, but I had already started to become concerned by the oddness of these two responses. This was an awkward exchange, but not one that appeared to have a destination. I replied "Yeah". I looked away so that he couldn't clamber into my soul through my eyes. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

" Just to let you know, I am a silent partner, by the way" he continued. There was a pause whilst I thought how I might get rid of him, and also, about what on earth it might be that he was hoping to achieve.

"That's nice" I said, with only the very slightest modicum of sarcasm. In reality I wanted to ask him what he was a silent partner in, but feared that this may unlock a torrent of misguided ill thought through ramblings. I returned to my far off gaze.

The man sighed, stared at the table and grumpily said under his breath "well I can see am going to get nothing here" and said goodbye, also grumpily before approaching the bar, where he said something unintelligible to the barman, who when enquiring what he had said or meant was ignored, as the fruit loop said he was going outside for a smoke.

Once outside a man sat behind me came up and said "Did he tell you he was a silent partner as well?" and I confirmed he had, and we both shared details of our assessment by Lord Moron of Incommunicable Castle. It transpired that he had been in for some time and had spoken to about three sets of people. On going out to check what was going on the barman reported that he had left. I got another Partizan Dank, a pint this time. It was delicious.

I have started to realise, perhaps admit, that I spend a little too much time in the pub for my own good. And during that time I have listened in on and joined in many conversations, far reaching and varying from the heartfelt to the passionately absurd. The pub is, after all, a warm building where the mildly deranged often shelter. Its not surprising therefore that it oft attracts a certain calibre of crazy. One thing I do know is that I am reasonably good at communicating with folks, and hopefully, never make anyone feel as uneasy as this man did me.

I never did find out what he was a silent partner in....

Wee Beefy


  1. Yes, they always seem reasonable at first, don't they, and then the penny drops...

    1. Have actually been quite lucky to steer clear of pub nutters until this one. The last was a guy who was deposited with us by his friends who then ran off. His opening gambit was "David Icke was right...." which made me laugh very loudly, and him very affronted. It did not go well thereafter....